Reframing Gratitude
One book I read that drastically shifted my perspective on gratitude was Grateful by Diana Butler Bass. Gratitude is a thought, activity, or practice that, for me, can be a real struggle. Living with the scarcity mindset for most of my life can make it challenging for me to access gratitude and the idea of abundance. However, when I read Grateful, I was able to shift my paradigm of what I believed gratitude to be. Gratitude is not a passive reflection; it’s about building resilience.
It’s not about being thankful for things that have already occurred and therefore can’t be changed, it’s about ensuring the benefits of what comes next. It’s about making sure that tomorrow and the day after you will have something to be grateful for (Bass, Grateful)
Shifting my mindset of gratitude from being something that was past tense to something present or a future state, did help me build resilience. Practicing gratitude is one way to grow your emotional resilience. Bass argues that we tend to indulge in nostalgia because we remember things being better than they were. Waxing on nostalgic can be detrimental because it makes us believe that the good old days are better than the present or future. Thinking that life’s best moments are gone and that we can only be grateful for what was doesn’t serve me.
Another reframe of gratitude Bass shares, is it can arise from both our successes and failures. And looking to the past with rose-tinted glasses is not my style. I can think of many failures (or the not “good old days”) that have shaped who I am today. At the time, when I was going through those challenging times, I was not accessing gratitude for the struggle. However, now I have an appreciation for those challenges because I was able to overcome some sort of adversity or challenge, and for that, I am grateful.
I challenge you that the next time you practice gratitude, try to find meaning in something that was a challenge or adversity. Draw upon what that experience taught you and why are you grateful for that lesson.
